Okay, today was an interesting evening. Me and my best friend, AspenWhite_WRX, were coming home from a graduation party for one of my mom’s friend’s son. So, we head along the main road through our town, called Lincoln Highway….and AspenWhite looks into the parking lot of the local “Ultra Foods”, and he sees rice at its best. A Ford Probe, automatic, and the 4 cylinder one, and a Mazda 626 LX or something like that. So, he makes me aware of it, and I do a quick turn into the parking lot. Come to find out, their old classmates of mine, that graduated in the class of 2006.

To give some background, these guys have been giving me **** for a long time. One of them, the Mazda owner, thought he knew everything about cars, and the other one thought civics were the greatest cars ever, AND he thinks he is going to be getting a viper soon. And he doesn’t like me because I had a thing for his girlfriend, and he always thinks I was trying to make her cheat on him. Which I wasn’t, she was one of my best friends, until she started acting like a something or another, and we no longer talk.

So I come in there, and give them a nice rev or two as they see me and give a laugh. So I try to be nice, and say “Hey guys what’s up?” *REV* And the one who thinks he is the fastest guy around , “Oh yeah! Keep talkin’ sh*t” and the other one, who has a hate thing for me, who thinks he is cool, co-signs, “Yeah keep talkin’!” and I laugh and I say, “Well, come on guys, lets see whatcha got?” so the probe owner says (and I don’t lie about this), “Dude! He’d beat the sh*t outta you!” he walks over to his car “He doesn’t have hood scoops and racing seats for nothing!” I looked into his car, and he has the stock, cloth seats, with red 4 point harnesses. So I say, “…Ooooh….” then look to the back of the cars, and he says, “He just got a performance wing!” so I raise a brow and point to the probe, “(probe owner)! What the heck is up with that wing?!” and he says, “I got to have it!” and I say, “Why? It doesn’t help your performance at all.” he says, “Visual stimulation. Ya know, gotta look the part.” I decide to ignore that. I look to the Mazda and the probe owner says, “He just got one too, he’ll beat you.” so I say, “Well then lets go. Lets see whatcha got.” the Mazda owner says, “…..I’ll be right back.” ya know in that way like this was going to be an easy win for him. And the probe owner and he start walking away. I say to the probe owner, “Where you guys goin? I thought you were going to mess around?” he says, “Ryan’s coming back, just wait for him.” So they leave, and I decide to clip some pictures and a video.


(Probe…..notice the wing, and paint thinning spots on the hood)



(“stripped” interior, seat covers, and painted blue and black dash…on a red car)


(Double the rice!!! Wings add 10 HP to FWD cars!!!!)


(Notice the “glass pack” on the probe. Its just loud, no performance)



(Side exit exhausts…….)


(hood scoops on the Mazda…the paint thinning on the hood of the probe, rust and bad hoods on both these cars….true rice)

Here is a all around video (silent):

So AspenWhite WRX and I hang around for a while, the Mazda owner comes back and asks us to follow him. So, we get a batch of clear road. And I look over, he downshifts. So I give it three honks, and go, then he gets a bad launch, from, like a 10 roll…and I let off and signal, then he WOT, out of no where, so I do as well, and he was like a fender ahead of me….then I reel him in like no other, then he lets off. Here is a video clip of that:



So then we follow him into a McDonald’s parking lot, and he says “where do you want to do this?” I reply, telling him a back road where no one is ever at. So we “set it up”, but he tells me he needs to go get gas. So we follow and wait for him. Then, I follow him to the place. And we turn onto the road, and before I can even turn, he WOT. So I do as well, Real him in and let off with one-two cars. So, I signal for him to turn, and he follows, and again, he WOT, while we are turning. So I finish the turn, and I also go WOT. And wave to him as I get another 1-3 car lengths ahead of him. So, we’re coming to the light, and I look back, and he looks pissed, resting his head on his fist and everything. So, I get in the turning lane to go home, and he is immediately to my right. I smile ( a bit smugly), and say, to be nice, “Good race man.” and he says, “Yeah…I need to do some more work to my car…..once I do…I’ll come looking for you. But yeah…I gotta get home...I don’t need anymore tickets.” so I laugh and nod, “Alright, I’ll be around.” and I turn off and he heads forward. And AspenWhite, who was being hilarious with comments like, “Some work on his car?! WHAT DID HE DO TO IT ANYWAY?!” So, I got a kill, and I’m sure he’ll make up an excuse to the probe owner, they’re best friends,and the probe owner thinks the 626 owner is hot stuff. Ricer population control!!!!

SparkNotes: Destroyed smack talking ricers who thought they were hot stuff.

 

very nice....thk god ricers exist..or else who would we pick on and get amusment out of?

 

hahaha awesome

 

nice pics

 

and you just have a regular cobalt right? thats rad. Even without a 10hp wing you still kick the **** outta them.
way to control the pests.

 

wow what a waste of , you must have a lot of money

 

Thanks, and yep, I have an LS.

A waste of what?

 

weight reduction and downforce whats not to love?

 

i loved the wave goodbuy..!!! so classy

 

lol, thanks man. I try to show that we cobalt owners are classy.

 

did he give ya the " that thing has to be supercharged...." i hear it all the time... im only ls ur car is just that slow

 

Nah, he didn't give the "you gotta be supercharged" line. He was going to try to make excuses though. I nipped that in the bud.

 

bump for a few more replys.

 

bump for a good laugh . That was pretty entertaining. It's hard to believe that people actually mod cars like that.

 

wow wish we would of got some NX racing seats instead of recaros...

 

hahaha its so sad that people think like that

 

dont u kno? 100 hp FRONT WHEEL DRIVE cars need downforce on the rear more than anywhere else! lol. im gonna make my wing out of aluminum foil and be just like them! and LED tips give the illusion of fire. ooooohhh!

 

Man your brave to try to race some cars with "wings" and "scoops" I mean that MUST mean they're super fast! I think you just got lucky is all.





You know I'm only kidding dude! Thats funny as ****! I've craped faster then those cars could ever go!

 

lemme put some wings on the back of my shoes and see if i could run faster then those bastard children ford products.

 

Yeah dude, I knew you were joking. It felt good to put ricers that thought they were the stuff, in their place. The side exits made it annoyingly loud....

Jackalope (Pwnage beast), you already know you could have put it into neutral and kic-pushed and still beat them.

 

What are you guys talking about? Everybody knows that wings add at least 50 horsepower!

 

Oh snap!!!! I thought it was 10hp!!! Holy crap, I must have gotten lucky!

 

See I told you that you got lucky!

 

Now my eyes have been opened!!!

 

anybody else notice the little strap holdin up the passenger seat cover on the probe? he shoulda just used a bungee cord! a bungee cord that said nx racing on it!