DUI Texas style
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Joined: 08-07-07
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From: Richland
DUI Texas style
From the county where drunk driving is considered a sport, comes this true story. Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Austin, Texas after last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk.
The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other
patrons left the bar and drove off.
Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off--it was a fine, dry summer night--,flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left. At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.
The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer test. To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all!
Dumbfounded, the officer said, I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it," said the truly proud Redneck. "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."
The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other
patrons left the bar and drove off.
Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off--it was a fine, dry summer night--,flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left. At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.
The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer test. To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all!
Dumbfounded, the officer said, I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it," said the truly proud Redneck. "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."
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Joined: 11-22-06
Posts: 944
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From: Owings Mills, Maryland
my dad told me that story when I was like 13 he said every night him and his friends would assign one person being the "designated Decoy" and after the like 4th try the cops just stopped trying
right..like this actually happened in texas? if it happend at all.. lol
http://www.ancientworlds.net/974162
http://www.poe2.com/home/jokes/dui.htm
http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-uRcSF...I84IDJIAb?p=68
just from a quick search looks like georgia,NC, and Mississippi had the same idea
...but funny none the less
http://www.ancientworlds.net/974162
http://www.poe2.com/home/jokes/dui.htm
http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-uRcSF...I84IDJIAb?p=68
just from a quick search looks like georgia,NC, and Mississippi had the same idea
...but funny none the less
Senior Member
Joined: 09-07-05
Posts: 3,532
Likes: 0
From: Canada
Hilarious.
This is somewhat of a true story. When I lived in Austin I used to hang out at the Iron Cactus tequila/tapas bar. One night a guy left sooooo loaded he clicked his security alarm at a white suv, and a blue one chirped. He stumbled around and finally drove away in it. I saw people basically be carried to their cars..
Lots of people would get onto I35 and let the concrete barrier guide them out onto the interstate with a trail of mirrors and trim being left behind.
Giddie up/
This is somewhat of a true story. When I lived in Austin I used to hang out at the Iron Cactus tequila/tapas bar. One night a guy left sooooo loaded he clicked his security alarm at a white suv, and a blue one chirped. He stumbled around and finally drove away in it. I saw people basically be carried to their cars..
Lots of people would get onto I35 and let the concrete barrier guide them out onto the interstate with a trail of mirrors and trim being left behind.
Giddie up/
