Ok OK so i got a good story to tell. Today at work, i was doing a power steering pump replacement on a 6.6 diesel. To do this you have to remove the fan shrowd the fan itself and than the pump. Well i got the fan shrowd of with no problem. Than i started on the fan itself. Now to remove the fan you have to use a special tool that goes into the pulley itself and about a 2" crows foot with a breaker bar. So like every chevrolet(excluding mine cause its perfect) it wants to fight you. So im leaning over this truck pushing as hard as i can against this breaker bar and its not moving. Now one of the porters was standing by the truck watching me work on it and about five minutes of pushing to no avail i start cussing the world out. So the porter decides it is a good time to leave, and at that very moment the nut breaks loose. Much to my dismay my face was right in the path of my fist with the breaker bar in it. I was pushing with full force and nearly knocked my self senseless with my own fist. Now im super pissed and embarassed, i did the look around, alright nobody saw me nearly knock my teeth out. Than i noticed a nice little hole on the inside of my cheek. Needless to say i learned my listen, never have your face above a fan pulley when you are trying to remove the fan. Spiting out blood for five minutes is no fun.


Anyway i started this thread because i know some of you guys got some funny stories, and i wanna hear them.

 

I was at work one time taking the trash to the dumpster out back and I used a box cutter to cut open merchandise and throw it in that way noone could bring the boxes and items in to try to get a refund lol yes we have dumpster divers in my town. I went to slice a candybar open and went right across my hand was bleeding for 45 min. suprisingly i work at a drug store so all the merchandise at a arms reach to help bandage it , then i had to go to the health dept. to get a tetnus shot

 

All I have to say is STI...

 

I had a good one happen tonight.

A little preface...

About a year ago, I raced a TB SS on a street near my house, from maybe a 40 roll, he stepped down to pass me and I took off, pulled back past him at about 80. When we get to the next light, he rolls the window down, and I see its a ******* cop!! I freeze, go blank, have no clue what I should do. He says "Man, that thing moves, you got nitrous in there?" I say " No, but its supercharged". Him: "Well, that thing is ******* fast man" Me: "Thanks??" and I go on my way, not really believing that this just happened and I got away with it.

Fast forward to tonight. I go to a local hangout spot, a small one usually pretty heavy with ricers but I usually get in a good race or two and its close to home, if my boys come out we hit up a 7-11 thats close and get some Slurpees and just chill for a while. Usually, at about 11:30 or 12:00, one cop comes and tells everyone to leave the spot, we go get our stuff, home by 1:30 or so. No big deal.
Well, tonight I go out there a little early, I got a new phone so I figure i'll sit there and futz with it while waiting for my friends to come. I get there, text them to come, and i'm just sitting in my car, away from the 6-8 other cars that are there at this point, still with my seat belt on and listing to the radio. I see a black Impala do a quick drive through of the parking lot, looks kinda suspicios, and as I watch him drive back out, I see 6 cops coming to the lot, 3 marked cars and 3 undercovers. I start my car, figuring on just leaving, but they block the lot, one big ass black cop yells at me to shut off my car, so i'm just sitting there, waiting.
Young spanish cop, kinda looks familiar, comes up to me, asks for ID and stuff. Asks me why I'm there. Me "To meet up with some friends" Him: "Right, then to race down State Road 9, right?" Me" Nah, I used to but I don't do that anymore." Honesty is the best policy
He comes back says "You got any work done to this thing?" Me:" No, just factory stuff" Him: "These are pretty fast right?" Me: "Nah, not really" Him:"I don't know, I have a Trailblazer SS and I looked at these too, they're pretty quick". I say "Well, you have a fast car then, 400hp and all" He says, "No, its 500, corvette motor" Me "right, yeah, see, thats a fast truck right there". He says "That kid in the little white car over there (wrx) says he thinks he's faster than you, but I told him he don't know what he's dealing with". Me: " I dunno". Goes away, comes back with my license, gives it back. I ask him "what color is your TB?" Him: "All blacked out." Me " you live around here?" He says, "yeah, do you drive up NW 2nd ave sometimes?" Me, "Yeah, to get to the highway all the time, I live back that way". He says, swear to god "Oh ****, I think I raced you a while back in the truck, your car is pretty fast bro!". I'm like, "yeah, its not bad". He says "ok man, you're clear to go, just hang out here until all the cops clear out then go."

I though for sure I was gonna get in trouble, but he was cool as ****. I swear I have the weirdest luck. I even gave the cop a hard time becasue he was bitching about the gas milage in the TB, I said " ****, no wonder, i've seen the way you drive" He tells me "Shhh, don't talk about that" Coolest cop I've ever talked to.

 

^^that is the best freaking story ever!!

 

I was an engineer in the navy a while back. I was in the engineering log room ordering parts and the Auxilliaries Officer was sitting next to me. Not following protocol (You are supposed to call officers sir), I asked him "Will you pass me the stapler man?" Cause he was right next to it. Now is when it got funny because there are about 15 officers and chiefs having a debrief of drills that we just did. The AUXO stands up and screams at me "I AM NOT A MAN! I AM A UNITED STATES NAVAL OFFICER!!" It got really quite for like 10 seconds and then a few people just busted out laughing.

 

word - Some cops are just racers in a uniform!!

 

Let's see, I watched a guy crap himself, I watched a guy swallow ****, I've seen a wanted felon walk up to the officer that was looking for him to say hello, I've pulled a crackhead out of an 89 yr old man's closet, I caught a guy making rolls of rolling papers, marijuana, and a lighter to shove up his butt when he was arrested.
I've got a million of these, I work in Law enforcement

 

Whew, glad you said what you do for a living. For, a few momments I thought you were in the adult film industry.

 

25 years ago I was painting the exterior of an apartment block.
The guy I worked thought he was funny so when he was up a section higher on the scaffold, he pissed on me.
At first I wondered how it was raining on a sunny day.
I told him that when he looked around on realized I was gone, he would find me shitting on the fron seat of his '64 T-Bird.
Finally my chance to get away came.
He started to wonder what was taking me so long and if maybe I really was crapping in his beloved car.
Just as he was ready to climb down from the top of the scaffold, I leaned over the edge of the roof and pissed on him.
He never saw it coming, until it was way too late.

 

Ahahaha that is perfect!!!!

 

story like that a happend friend of mine(1st class) was on a boat and an officer asked for chance ,my friend said "let me check' " the officer was like "son i am a united states navel officer lets start this conversation again. my friend said "ok sir" Do you have any change 1st class . my frinend was like" No Sir"

 

My uncle is a Sgt. Maj. currently in Djibouti.He works with a lot of branches of the service and tells a story of one rivalry between the Army and the Air Force.Seems that on a dare from the Army Airman 1st Class B****** directed flights arriving and departing in his skivvies.Not to be out done and with beer at stake the Army fielded this entry in the
war on boredom.

 

OK then

 

I have one from when I was stationed in Japan. Me and 2 of my shipmates went and bought 20 bags of popcorn from the exchange (not the microwave kind). We boarded the USS Curtz (FFG-38) and put 10 bags down each gas turbine stack (main engines). Two days later early in the morning while the Curtz was preparing to leave port, It looked like a huge popcorn popper! We never got caught. Quarter Deck security on all ships from that time on was never the same.

 

my friends and i were at lake shasta house boating and we had on of those water-balloon launchers.... well being foolish as we were we decided it would be really cool to see what it did if you hit someone with a water ballon.... from a few feet away... in the stomach. well apparently it knocks the wind out of you, knocks you to the ground on your back and leaves a nasty white welt/blister the size of a softball