RULES FOR DRIVING IN CALGARY :



1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: "CAL-GREE".

2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On
Deerfoot, you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming
in for a landing at the airport. Anything less is considered "Wussy".

4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Calgary now has
its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the
loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the
biggest tires go second. However, Hamptons , SUV-driving, cell
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out, and possibly shot.

6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that
can get you shot.

7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Calgary. Detour
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the
next day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished,
and more construction starts everyday.

8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs,
cats, deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, cats, mattresses, shredded
tires, garbage, squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any
of these items.

9. 16th Avenue, TransCanada and "Hwy #1" are the same road.

10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
activated."

11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 kph
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

12. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle
and blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

 

I got the same thing in an email some time ago. I don't think driving in Calgary is that bad though and I've been there during rush hour. Hell at least people use their signals. I did run into an ******* in a Beemer once. I was driving my Civic and had 2 friends with me, each over 6 foot 200lbs and this butt hole thought we were going to slow or something and had the nerve to finger us Maybe he was packing thats why he had the ***** to try that..

 

heh packin naah doubt it prob. just never got his ass wooped b4 and though he was hot stuff in his fancy car.

 

ahaha that about sums it up well!

 

Sounds like they've adopted the same motor vehicle laws as we have down here.

 

good laugh.LOL

 

repost

https://www.cobaltss.net/forums//showthread.php?t=58352

 

What do you expect from Calgarians???
They know they can't quite measure up to us Edmontonians

 

ooo low blow!

 

you guys are worried about getting shot in calgary? come down here for a weekend. you probably will get shot

 

I really couldn't resist

 

ahaha no worries, gotta love the ongoing feud with calgary and edmonchuck...

 

And why do they call it Edmonchuk??.......
































because there is an Ukranian on every corner

 

lmao!

 

haha. this is hilarious. I've driven in Calgary in our churchs' "vomit comet" an 03 Focus that sucked. It wasn't all that bad. Except the construction... ugh.

 

You think Albertan's driving is bad? Move to Winnipeg! They don't even know what the lever on the left side of the column does! And if your hand accidentally slips off the wheel and engages a signal-like blinking light, everyone around you automatically speeds up on both lanes beside you and blocks you in just in case you wanted to change into thier lane! No ****, i was shocked to see people actually use thier signals here, let alone allowing you to change into their lane. Fast drivers? yes. Somewhat courteous? yes again. Wouldn't want to be the faint hearted granny driving on Deerfoot, that's for sure. Kev.

 

^^ tis true hahaa

 

I will say one thing that rocks in Winnipeg.... Sunday Night Cruising. Never seen so many nice rides in one city every single Sunday night. Not sure this summer, but last year the cops actually tried shutting the whole thing down because too many idiots were street racing. You tell me how you're gonna stop thousands of guys from showing off thier rides by giving them a hard time. Dumb cops. Is Kildonan Park still closed to cars on Sundays? That used to be a pretty nice spot. Kev.

 

yeah they just recently shut it down...but there are many more places...we're out repping the cobalts every sunday night The cops are still out in full force but they cant stop ppl from driving right?